by - May 19, 2017

I've had a tough few months. A lot has happened in my life lately that's brought around a handful of changes. Some big, some small, some for the better, and some that just make you want to curl up on a sofa, whack on a box set, and eat Doritos and dip until the day is done. It's safe to say I've had a lot of ups and downs.

I think that’s a big reason as to why I want to push myself now more than ever, and why I have started this blog. I want to follow my own journey, I want to look back in however many months or years and think ‘wow, look at where I started’, and as I do this I want to share my laughter and tears. I also want to follow other amazing, inspirational, and creative people and share moments together, to find my tribe, and to live a little in a whole new way.

The silver lining of all these ups and downs? I am coming out on the other end far tougher and stronger than ever before - and that's a good thing. I'm coming out fighting. Fighting to make myself a better person inside and out, fighting to keep my tiny piece of paradise, and some days just fighting to put my hair in a messy bun (who isn't?!).

At the start of the year I knew I needed to do something exciting and new, and so I sat around contemplating a blog for some time. I read other blogs, I follow some sensational women on Instagram, and so I’m surrounded by inspiration. Well. Here I am, finally, and here are my amazing dreams for the rest of 2017, because it will be my year...

• Get back to fitting into those dusky pink chinos! •

Wow. Relationships really do get the better of you sometimes, they can consume you about as much as you want to consume every piece of food in the town. Enough is enough. It's just me now, starting fresh and finding the will power to put down that first and second (...and third and fourth...) packet of salt & vinegar crisps and pick up the carrot sticks.

I’ve started to change what I eat and try my best to meal prep every Sunday – lunches and dinners! I am definitely not perfect, and either forget or procrastinate. But I am trying. I’ve even cut down on my portion sizes. I can eat and eat and eat until there’s no more food, and I clearly don’t think that’s been doing me any favours - oops. I have some super tasty ‘go to’ recipes that are perfect for lunch, and I’ll definitely be sharing these in a blog post soon. They really are yummy!

I’ve also started juicing and making smoothies again. I don’t have them every day, but when I do it’s usually for breakfast. I feel so much better after a huge veggie/fruit hit in the morning. Recipes for my favourite smoothies also to come soon.

In terms of fitness, I'm already walking more and I've been back at the gym since November. Lots of cardio and lots of weights. I’d like to get back to yoga too and am waiting for summer so that I can set my soul free on the patio in the sunshine. My goal is to trim down and tone up. I’m not a big girl, but I also feel like I can do better and feel better. Plus, I have a pair of wonderful dusky pink chinos in my drawer that I can’t squeeze into anymore, and I miss them! I can do this. For the chinos!

• Laugh again! •

Boy do I need to laugh a bit more. Everything feels so miserable and flat. I find myself tutting or rolling my eyes or huffing and puffing at almost anything and everything. Whether that’s because I feel so beaten down and mentally exhausted or whether I’m changing and just don’t care about other people’s minute crap anymore – who knows. Maybe a bit of both?!
I do feel like a lot of people don’t completely understand me, and so many people don’t know a lot of things about me, but I’m also not the most open person. Layers layers layers, I have lots of them. I don’t think anyone will ever understand every ounce of me, and I’m completely ok with that, but I do want people to respect me for who I am and to respect my dreams and not giggle at them (oh, it’s happened) or wave them away as nonsense. I don’t want people to underestimate me and not bother to ask me a question because they’ve misjudged my intelligence or viewpoints.
I need to re-invite positivity into my life and ignore those who are bringing in their constantly negative dramas. I need to start doing the things that used to interest me, that used to make me laugh, and most of all do things and surround myself with things that used to inspire me or are now inspiring me. I need to start dancing in the rain, singing in the kitchen, and gazing up at the stars wondering who else is watching them with me.
I want magical holidays to magical places. When I was 10 my family and I travelled around Europe stopping at random hotels and with family I’d never even met, it was amazing, but at 10 you don’t hugely appreciate it all. In 2011 I backpacked around Thailand all on my own and it was incredible, I really grew. I quit my horrible job, booked a flight, packed a bag, and off I went. Now? Now I’d love to see Finland, Iceland, Norway, Sweden, Antarctica, Bolivia, Morocco, Marrakesh, Fiji, Bali… and to learn some incredible things about incredible cultures.
I do have a very small amount of wonderful girlfriends who I am incredibly thankful for. I have met some incredible women in the last few years, and I know deep down that we’ll be together forever. We’ve had moments together that you just can’t physically explain to other people – they’ll never understand it, but to us they’re hilarious moments we can share together for the rest of our lives. Only today did one of these amazing ladies leave a totally selfless, thoughtful gift on my desk! The best gift in the world if you ask me, my favourite pastry! I honestly can't explain how chuffed I am. Friends who take the time to pay attention to who you are and what you like are just the best breed of besties. I’m going to focus on spending more time with these ladies and putting more effort into paying them back for their kindness and support.

I so totally want those 'besties' moments, those lazing around on unicorn floats photos, movie nights on the couch and floor with popcorn moments, driving around to gaze at the stars nights... 

I need to surround myself with empowering women who can lift a girl up instead of tearing a girl down. That's a tribe, and that's what every woman needs (including a few big ol' cocktails). Women need to learn to start supporting one another because that's when the magic starts to flow!

• Rid the house of negativity! •

I think it's only natural that when big changes happen in your life you want to start fresh, to have a clear-out and to re-design the space around you. I have so many amazingly opulent inspiring pins sat around on my Pinterest, and now that I’m calling all the shots in my life I can finally start taking them off the page and incorporating them into my home.

I've been trying for years to hang a gallery wall. Last month I sat down, created a lot of designs, found a handful of beautiful free printables, and created a small gallery wall in my office/spare room. All on my own! But that's just the start, I have so many more ideas for my home and plenty of pretty DIY projects ready to try. My home has no ‘life’ to it, no excitement, no colour. There’s nothing hanging on the walls, and there are no photographs or pictures anywhere. It’s a little sad to think that I’ve been in this house for over 5 years now without making any real changes to it and without injecting any personality into it. I suppose that’s what happens when two people can’t agree on a decorating style.

I do have a list of changes that I want to make as quickly as possible. Sadly this will be somewhat of a slow process – because I am poor. No sugar coating it!

I am beyond keen to rid the kitchen of black and invite in a whole lot of cream and light greys. I’d love beautiful off-white kitchen cupboards, a lightly coloured marbled top, and light stone coloured tiles that continue out to the open hallway. Ahh, dreams. A lot of these projects with be total DIY jobs, and luckily my dad is hugely skilled in the DIY department. I’d love to learn how to do it all myself, and now’s my chance.

I'm already looking at new paint colours for the house; time for a total change. Bye bye magnolia (it is everywhere)! I’m keen to incorporate light grey, very pale pink, and white around the house. I want things to feel fresh and alive!

• Sort myself out! •

Now there's nothing wrong with the same ol' skinny jeans and a tee or jumper, but I suppose if I’m giving the house a makeover I should also reinvent myself a little and become more confident in wearing more exciting and fashionable items. I'm definitely not running out to buy fishnets and plastic skirts any time soon, but just a little change here and there. Smart casual with a twist of chic!

I have some beautiful new items to share with you all soon. I am a big fan of burgundy, but grey is making its way into my life en masse. It’s so elegant, chic, stylish, and confident. So naturally I recently upgraded to a small grey handbag, a matching grey wallet, and a to-die-for grey waterfall coat. I’ve also bumped up my wardrobe with some grey knee-high suede boots, a new silver initial pendant and super thin silver ring. I’m slowly making my way to a more stylish and fancy wardrobe, and not at an enormous cost either.

I did the unheard of and cleared out a lot of coats, jackets, tops, and accessories that I haven’t worn in such a long time. My closet is amazingly organised and I absolutely love it. It’s almost split into winter-wear and summer-wear. Everything is exactly where I need it to be, colours are together, sleeve-lengths are together… you get the idea. It’s so wonderful to have the space to spread my clothes out and see exactly what I own. I did invest in the ‘Stylebook’ app, but I haven’t used it yet. Any thoughts to share on this one? I do genuinely feel like it would help me to see what’s in my wardrobe and to pick out different outfits each time, instead of the same old ‘go to’ items.

I’m hoping this dream will coincide with dream no.1… as I feel a bit more confident in myself and a lot more toned up, my wardrobe should start to adapt to my new found fitness.

• Book a holiday already! •

Times are tough for everyone, I'm under no illusion that lots of people are finding it difficult money-wise. Me? I'm working a full time job to pay for an entire home all by myself (the big new change I was definitely not expecting). I'm completely exhausted and mentally drained. I think it’s the perfect time to start saving a little each month into the giant 'holiday fund' jar. Who knows, by 2020 I could be sipping cocktails beside a fancy pool in Mexico, right?!

I have holiday from work later this year to spend relaxing at home, and that's definitely great but not quite the holiday of my dreams. I mentioned earlier in dream no.2 a few ideal holiday destinations of mine, and I’d love to make those dreams happen. Slowly but surely I will see those places in person and take amazing holiday snaps to share with you all. New York would be the biggest dream come true. I am turning 30 in just shy of 2 years, so maybe I could treat myself to a January dream holiday to the states - hopefully with a little NYC snow. In the meantime maybe I'll make a start on dream no.3 and paint some of the house.

In the back of my mind there's always a small voice screaming that there are still so many places in the world that I'm desperate to see. I need some holiday buddies to share the memories with too. I’ll get there!

• The unrealistic dream! •

Has anyone got Chris Evans' (not the ginger one; Capitain America only) phone number? Anyone at all?


Well. I think five big dreams for 2017 will do for now. I can always add little wishes along the way. There are six months left to go after all, and a lot can happen in a day. 

I'll definitely be sharing my journey with you all as I fight my way to achieving these currently out of reach dreams. I'll gladly write about every stumble, every success, and ever pee-my-pants laughable moment. These dreams will build the foundations of my blog topics. If you've got any tips or encouraging words for me please drop a comment below, or share your own dreams with me – I’d so love to hear them... and then maybe stick around and ride this out with me.

Claudia xo

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  1. So sorry to hear you've had a rough couple of months. I think I know what you're going through (at least a little if I'm right). Glad to see that you're working hard to getting things back on track. Love the dreams. Dreams can lead to big things. Good luck with everything Claudia!

    1. Aww thank you so much Johanne! I think most women go through it at some time or another, and we have the choice to roll over or come out stronger and I'm definitely fighting my way to being 'me'. Woo!